Wednesday, May 03, 2006
A most unusual day grooving with a pict
Boy, today sure has been a weird day at the office. I walked in this morning to espy Kevin being confronted by two completely naked African American lesbians who were jumping up onto his desk while rapping Kumbaya. Yet Kevin’s eyes barely flicked.
There was a time when they flicked barely on a regular basis. But he was older back then. And considerably more attractive.
Anyway, the two women stared exploring each other with knowing hands – and I had to consider for a moment how many hands the average person knows – but they seemed totally oblivious to the fact that they had somehow been teleported from a dark, private, velvety room above the Viper Room in LA.
Anyway, Kevin then tried to retrieve a pen from beneath the heavily oiled, well muscled thigh of one of the women, when Bob arrives. And Bob is staggering and clearly reeling from the effects of a datura overdose and he’s trying to read brief that he had written in his own blood, on the side of a fossilised Groper. It was difficult for him to read though, because the fish was upside down. The weird rthing is though, that this was just after 8am, and Bob usually never takes Datura before midday.
But then, there is a lot about today that is deviating from the norm – and you probably already know what a deviant Norman is, but he has run away, and nobody can find him. Then Pete walks in, rabbiting on about how fast the hands on our wall clock were moving. And he was right – whole hours were passing in what we used to know as 5 minutes. Weird man. And then the rumbling started. Oh dear. And this was followed by a strange purple light that started wafting from the photocopier.
And then we looked up and noticed, at last, a whole lot of babies – about 6 months old – and they were all glued to the ceiling, but we got distracted from them by Alan – who suddenly launched into an Aria – but he had a female mezzo soprano voice all of a sudden and it really was quite beautiful. So now it was about 11, and it sure was a strange day, you can count on that. But was it really today at all? Could this actually be tomorrow – accidentally programmed in advance – but accidentally slipping into today on some metaphysical level, a bit like Stephen King's Langoliers?
Or could it be the day after tomorrow – it was getting real hard to tell by now. I guess time will tell, but right now I can tell you that this is getting more difficult and I really don’t know if time will ever be able to tell, ever again. Because if time did tell, would it really be told? Or, tolled?
Anyway, as I write this, Kevin and Bob have started floating, totally defying gravity; but the weird thing is, they are holding hands! Oooh look, the purple light has gone out and that rumbling noise just stopped, thankfully. Oh dear, crikey – one of the lesbians just turned into a tenor saxophone. Oh no! And now Kevin is jamming persimmons into the sax to shut it up, and Diana just ate everyones cellphones.
Yep, I’ll tell you this for nothing – today sure is turning into a very weird day. One of the most unusual ones I’ve ever had and it aint even 2 o’clock yet.
There was a time when they flicked barely on a regular basis. But he was older back then. And considerably more attractive.
Anyway, the two women stared exploring each other with knowing hands – and I had to consider for a moment how many hands the average person knows – but they seemed totally oblivious to the fact that they had somehow been teleported from a dark, private, velvety room above the Viper Room in LA.
Anyway, Kevin then tried to retrieve a pen from beneath the heavily oiled, well muscled thigh of one of the women, when Bob arrives. And Bob is staggering and clearly reeling from the effects of a datura overdose and he’s trying to read brief that he had written in his own blood, on the side of a fossilised Groper. It was difficult for him to read though, because the fish was upside down. The weird rthing is though, that this was just after 8am, and Bob usually never takes Datura before midday.
But then, there is a lot about today that is deviating from the norm – and you probably already know what a deviant Norman is, but he has run away, and nobody can find him. Then Pete walks in, rabbiting on about how fast the hands on our wall clock were moving. And he was right – whole hours were passing in what we used to know as 5 minutes. Weird man. And then the rumbling started. Oh dear. And this was followed by a strange purple light that started wafting from the photocopier.
And then we looked up and noticed, at last, a whole lot of babies – about 6 months old – and they were all glued to the ceiling, but we got distracted from them by Alan – who suddenly launched into an Aria – but he had a female mezzo soprano voice all of a sudden and it really was quite beautiful. So now it was about 11, and it sure was a strange day, you can count on that. But was it really today at all? Could this actually be tomorrow – accidentally programmed in advance – but accidentally slipping into today on some metaphysical level, a bit like Stephen King's Langoliers?
Or could it be the day after tomorrow – it was getting real hard to tell by now. I guess time will tell, but right now I can tell you that this is getting more difficult and I really don’t know if time will ever be able to tell, ever again. Because if time did tell, would it really be told? Or, tolled?
Anyway, as I write this, Kevin and Bob have started floating, totally defying gravity; but the weird thing is, they are holding hands! Oooh look, the purple light has gone out and that rumbling noise just stopped, thankfully. Oh dear, crikey – one of the lesbians just turned into a tenor saxophone. Oh no! And now Kevin is jamming persimmons into the sax to shut it up, and Diana just ate everyones cellphones.
Yep, I’ll tell you this for nothing – today sure is turning into a very weird day. One of the most unusual ones I’ve ever had and it aint even 2 o’clock yet.
