fossgoss

No. 1 in a series. This from "Tipping the Velvet' a wonderful Victorian tale, delightfully crafted by Sarah Waters.


"Have you ever tasted a Whitstable oyster? If you have, you will remember it. Some quirk of the Kentish coastline makes Whitstable natives – as they are properly called – the largest and the juiciest, the savouriest yet the subtlest, oysters in the whole of England. Whitstable oysters are, quite rightly,famous. The French, who are known for their sensitive palates, regularly cross the Channel for them; they are shipped, in barrels of ice, to the dining-tables of Hamburg and Berlin. Why, the King himself, I heard, makes special trips to Whitstable with Mrs Keppel, to eat oyster suppers in a private hotel; and as for the old Queen – she dined on a native a day (or so they say) till the day she died."

Kinda makes you want one eh? An oyster I mean, not a velvet tipping.

A segment of conversation overheard as the inflatable teacher, from the inflatable school was talking to the inflatable student after she discovered that he had brought a pin to the school that morning.



"....you've let me down ....and, you've let the whole school down.

But above all else....




..... you've let yourself down....."




Muahahahahaha!

.. and then He, the Lord, spoke (in His very deep and rumbly - accompanied by dramatic shafts of light through broken clouds - sort of voice) and, He said:

"There will be no more Martinborough Pinot Gris.

There will be no more Alsation Gewurtztraminer.

There will be no more Marlborough Viognier

There will be no more Adolph Schmidt Neirsteiner Gutes Dontal."

But then he changed his mind.

And that was good.