Thursday, January 18, 2007
The worst job interview. Ever.
Back....way back in the day.. I was a radio dj at a station called Radio Windy. Dr Rock (Barry Jenkin) had retired from fronting the TV programme 'Radio With Pictures' so Avalon basically approached every radio dj in Wellington inviting us all to apply for the new frontperson position. And every last one of of us wanted it. Bad. First we had to send a written application - which had to include a picture. Given that I had 'a great face for radio' I sent in a shot of my dog - figuring that curiosity may score me an audition. It worked. The shortlisted applicants numbered about 8 - 10 and we all had to audition on the same night - so it was going to be a long night. We had to prepare 2 spiels to present to camera; one a sort of music news bulletin and the other, a backgrounder/intro piece to introduce a new clip. Then we had to do a mock interview with a (then) local singer called Sharon O'Niell. In other words, it was a three part audition, and we each did our pieces on rotation. While we waited for our turn (watching other applicants on the monitor) we were allowed to drink, which helped take the edge off; I was pretty darned nervous to be honest and I was afraid it was showing on camera. Anyway, one of the other applicants flicked me a handful of little blue pills (10 mg valiums) and said - here, take these, they'll relax you nicely. So I did, and they did. When I did my second piece, I was very mellow, and I think it was a reasonably good performance.
But. Hmmm.... then I had to wait for about 45 minutes to do my interview segment. So, I had another free beer. And that felt good, so I had another.
Now - you know about mixing beer and tranquilisers, right?
Suddenly, I am on a tall stool, opposite Sharon, also on a tall stool, lights and cameras in the face, countdown, and suddenly - action, time to interview.
I will never forget the look of horror on Shazza's face as I started rocking, staring at her with what must have been a glazed, muscularly relaxed, stupid smile, rotating eyes and dribble coming from the corner of my mouth etc. Then gravity took over and whooooahhh, I'm on the floor. Whack. It was a slightly awkward moment in the context of the audition.
"I'm ok. I'm ok" didn't cut the mustard really, as I pulled myself up using Sharon's leg as an anchor, then falling full tilt into a camera, then accidentally whacking the floor manager with a mad flailing arm.
I did not get the job.
But. Hmmm.... then I had to wait for about 45 minutes to do my interview segment. So, I had another free beer. And that felt good, so I had another.
Now - you know about mixing beer and tranquilisers, right?
Suddenly, I am on a tall stool, opposite Sharon, also on a tall stool, lights and cameras in the face, countdown, and suddenly - action, time to interview.
I will never forget the look of horror on Shazza's face as I started rocking, staring at her with what must have been a glazed, muscularly relaxed, stupid smile, rotating eyes and dribble coming from the corner of my mouth etc. Then gravity took over and whooooahhh, I'm on the floor. Whack. It was a slightly awkward moment in the context of the audition.
"I'm ok. I'm ok" didn't cut the mustard really, as I pulled myself up using Sharon's leg as an anchor, then falling full tilt into a camera, then accidentally whacking the floor manager with a mad flailing arm.
I did not get the job.
